Dior - Teenage suicide
Dior touched her pink and lilac organza dress; it was smooth and light—lighter than it had ever felt. In fact, it felt as if it weren’t on her at all. She touched it again, trying to pinch the fabric with her fingertips but saw her hands go straight through the fabric. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw her own ghost. Oh my God, I’m dead.
She looked down from her ascended position and saw her grieving mother beside her empty bed holding her favourite plush toy which was drenched from her tears. Dior felt a stab to her heart, oh, my God, what have I done.
Dior’s spirit moved around her house as she observed. The house was cosy and neat and full of love and warmth, why didn’t I ever see and feel that before? Dior saw her annoying brother Zach lying on his bed; his phone and x-box just sat there untouched, an uneaten meal sat on the floor. She had never seen him like that. Oh, this can’t be true. She thought.
She could not see her father anywhere in the house. Is he at work? No, he would never leave mum alone like this.
Dior’s spirit moved away from her house. She followed the route she usually took in the morning. From a distance, she recognized the colours of her school uniform. Her attention went to a figure she had photographed in her memory. She almost didn’t recognize him with clothes on, Kevin was as sexy as ever. He seemed carefree and laughing with another girl; it was her best friend.
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Emma, kissed Kevin on the lips as they walked away hand in hand. How could they do that to me, I’m still warm, I haven’t even left the church yet. Oh, my goodness I can’t breathe. Do ghosts even breathe? What the hell have I done. Oh, please God don’t let this be true. Help me. I want to go back home. Please tell me this is all a bad dream. She just realized that Kevin had not been worth dying for that scary thought hit the core of her inexistent bones.
She wanted her bones back; she wanted her blood back and she wanted her heart back. She wanted to hug her mother and tell her she loved her; I’ve never told her I loved her. She wanted to wrestle on the floor with her annoying brother and father; she wanted to listen to her favourite music in her room and eat McDonalds. Dior felt stupid for thinking the grass was greener on the other side. She didn’t like being a ghost and she would hate being in a coffin. She had dreaded living, but this dead business was way worse.
Those touching images became more blurred and as the minutes became hours, she noticed parts of her body fade. Her organza ballerina dress became lighter and lighter until it disintegrated into a fine powder and vanished into the air along with the bouquet of flowers she had been given at her dance performance. Her body was now transparent. Oh my God, what’s happening to me? where am I going now?
She tried to touch her dress and her skin but there was nothing there anymore. There was no way back from the journey Dior had taken. As the last images of the wonderful things, she left behind flashed by her, she cried and wished she was still on earth.
But then Dior’s fingers brushed something familiar. It wasn’t thin and light. It was heavy and thick, fluffy but also a little rough. It was warm and had a familiar smell. She tried to open her eyes, but they were heavy. Her movements were clumsy and not as elegant as before. She pinched herself and yelled at the pain she felt on her arm. She opened her eyes and a familiar voice got louder and louder as she looked at her flannelette pyjamas, I’m wearing flannelettes again…I must be in hell.
Zack stormed in the room. “Dior, did you take my iPad? I swear if you do it again, I’m going to steal your phone and hide it for a week.” Dior jumped to her feet and ran to him.
“Zach are you real?”
“Yes of course I’m for bloody real, this is my iPad get your own.”
Dior held on to Zach’s arms tightly, then hugged him.
“Zach, I love you.” Dior started crying.
“You think I’m an idiot, this act isn’t going to work, you’re not taking my iPad away for the weekend, so you can stop crying.”
“Where are mum and dad?” Dior asked while touching Zach’s arms.
“They are at Auntie Olly’s place for the day.”
“Are they ok?”
“Why shouldn’t they be. Are you ok? You’re acting weird.”
“I had an awful dream. My God Zach, it seemed so real. I had a dream I was dead, I killed myself and I was a ghost and Kevin, and Emma were together.”
“Sounds pretty close to reality to me,” Zach teased. “You’ve been locked in your room for the past couple of weeks, and yeah Kevin and Emma are together, so it’s not a dream.”
“Kevin and Emma are together?” Dior asked confused.
“Yeah. Isn’t that why you’ve been so upset for the past two weeks?”
“No. I didn’t even know. He just broke up with me, but I didn’t know they were together until…”
“Sorry, I thought you knew.” Kevin said mortified.
There was silence in the room. Dior couldn’t believe she had given up her dream of being a dancer for Kevin, and he didn’t think twice about leaving her. Suddenly then Dior with an angry tone reprimanded her brother, “I could’ve been dead Zach, it’s bloody horrible in hell! And why are mum and dad away in a time like this?”
“Because they are organizing your stay at Auntie Olly’s place. They think it’s best you get away for a while, the sea air might knock some sense into you. They have been worried sick. And for the record I’ve been checking on you every hour and you were breathing, you even told me to _ _ _ _ off so you were very much alive.”
“Oh right!” she smirked. You know Zach my dream was horrible. Mum was devastated. She closed herself in the room and just cried. It was awful.
“Dior, mum has been crying in her room for weeks now. It’s not a bloody dream; bloody wake up.”
Dior looked around her room. She suddenly felt sick in the guts knowing she had put her parents through hell. She had been so selfish, worrying everyone, and all over a stupid guy and some girls at school. She nearly destroyed her family’s life over people that would probably do exactly what had happened in her dream—they would move on before her coffin had even left the church.
“Dior?” Zach zapped her out of her thoughts.
“What? Sorry?”
“I said if you want to get some pizza tonight. My shout.” Zach felt kind.
“Zach, I love you.” She hugged him tight.
“No Dior, you can’t have my iPad, now stop manipulating me, I know what you’re trying to do.”
“Movie night as well with that pizza?” Dior suggested.
“Yeah but no ghost movies please.”